Valentines
by Sparklefarey16
Summary: Roy hates Valentines Day. Maybe Edward can change that...? RoyEd


Valentine's Day. Oh how Roy hated it. One of the worst days in the whole entire year. Thank the Gate this year's Valentine's Day was on a Sunday. Most people (of the female sort) did not know where he lived. Ex-girlfriends and female coworkers(not including Riza) alike. So that meant no damned valentines.

Or so he thought...

–

Friday (February 12th)

"Good morning Lieutenant~!" Roy strolled into the office with a cheery wave.

"Good... morning sir?"

"Beautiful day today, isn't it?"

Lieutenant Hawkeye glanced outside. Gray storm clouds had rolled in early in the morning, leaving everything covered with a dull tinge. It was this kind of weather that Colonel Mustang hated most; next to the actual rain of course.

"It's about to rain. Sir-?"

Roy pulled the door to his office open and suddenly found an angry blonde in front of him. Unfortunately, said angry blonde is a _small_ angry blonde, and...

Bam! Roy fell right on top of Edward.

"Edward, I didn't even see you there, what with you being so-"

"Don't you dare comment on my height Mustang, or I swear-"

-several _swears_ later-

"Good morning to you too Fullmetal."

Roy noticed the breathy tone in the younger alchemist's voice as he made some sarcastic remark and then demanded to be let up, as they were _still_ in a very intimate and _awkward_ position. He didn't relinquish the oh-so-subtle splash of pink on Edward's cheeks either.

"Why Edward, you wouldn't happen to _like_ being here, would you?"

As if to emphasize his point, Roy shifted and found a rather nice bulge forming under Edward's pants.

And with that, Edward exploded.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU BASTARD!!!"

Somehow, none of the Colonel's other subordinates had come around. Hawkeye had suspiciously disappeared and the other usuals were nowhere to be found.

Roy got up and mockingly offered his hand to Edward, who in turn knocked it away, got up himself, and tripped Roy flat on the ground.

"Bastard." he said with an irritated sigh and proceeded to walk away.

Roy got up once again and walked into his office, the incident stored in the back of his mind for future blackmail use. As he laid eyes on his mahogany desk they met a most unwelcome and unpleasant sight.

Valentines.

_Lots_ of valentines.

Red, pink, white, with an abundance of frilly lace. A pained expression crossed Roy's face as he tried not to scream.

"What's with the ugly face bastard?" the voice to a certain blonde-headed nuisance rang out behind him.

"Doesn't suit you. You're already ugly enough, so don't go around and intensifying it, huh?"

With that, Roy whipped around, fingers spontaneously gloved and poised to snap.

"I'm in a bad mood Fullmetal. I don't think you want to make it any worse."

Ed made a childish face,

"Oh, I'm sure you ego can handle it."

Roy snapped, and watched in satisfaction as Ed flinched while the meaningless valentines burnt into nothingness.

"Some of them had chocolate."

"I don't care for chocolate Fullmetal."

Ed's mouth twisted into an aggravated frown, but Roy paid it no attention as he spotted the manilla folder tucked under Edward's arm.

"Is there a reason you came back here Edward? Besides to pester me of course."

Rolling his eyes, Ed tossed the folder onto the Colonel's now valentine-free desk.

"Not everything is about you, you self-centered bastard. If I had my way I would never set foot in this building ever again."

Something about the meaning to that sentence twisted Roy's insides in a most unpleasant manor.

His voice lowered considerably, "Then why don't you Edward? Now that your brother is... fixed, you are free to leave the military."

Roy wanted to snatch those words back the minute he'd spoken them. Just the thought of Edward leaving unsettled his stomach. Because... because he's a valuable military asset. Yeah, that sounds reasonable enough, right?

Ed clenched his teeth, "I still have unfinished business Mustang. Once it's cleared up I'll know whether or no I'll be leaving."

"Care to tell me what that is Fullmetal?"

"Nope." And with that, he walked away once again.

"Sir?" Hawkeye's head popped into his office with a most irritated look.

"You have some... gifts."

Roy sighed, "What are the lieutenant?"

"Flowers sir."

Another sigh, more annoyed this time. Why couldn't he just turn all these stupid holidays to ashes like he did to everything else!?

"Don't bother bringing them in Hawkeye, I'll be incinerating them."

"Yes sir."

One short walk to the door later revealed an outer office littered by boundless bouquets of cliche-looking flowers.

Like roses.

Tons of roses. The sickening classic red color along with a variety of other artificial hues. Roy bowed his head, much as if in defeat. These dumb holidays would kill him one day, he just knew it. No doubt the flowers held corny messages on them like the valentines did. Just thinking about it made him gag.

_Roses are red, violets are blue, my Flame, I've been thinking about you~_

_My heart is filled with an eternal Flame that keeps me wanting you always._

Blah blah blah.

These women had the worst poetic senses in the world!

Once more, Colonel Roy Mustang snapped his fingers, disintegrating all floral arrangements in the room.

What a day.

–

Sunday (February 14th)

Roy wearily rolled out of his bed, cautious for any signs of rabid women and arrows. One did not forget the time one crazy girlfriend stuck him with a heart-shaped arrow, proclaiming them to be Cupid's.

He changed into a pair of loose blue pants and a pale white shirt, then padded barefoot through the hallway and down the stairs, before grabbing a bagel from his pantry and taking a bite. The house was quiet and peaceful, neighbors' noisy children sleeping in on a weekend morning. Roy stretched as he walked into the living room, shaking the sleepiness from his body, then dragged the heavy curtains covering the window open, streaming sunlight into the dark house.

Blinking the brightness out of his eyes, Roy turned to leave until an odd sight caught his gaze. Something was sticking out of his mailbox. Slipping on his loafers, he headed outside into the crisp February air. It was a Sunday, first of all. Mail does not come on Sundays. Second, even if it did, it was way to early.

As Roy inched closer to the mailbox he snatched the mail away and walked back into the house. It was a card. A simple black color with sketchy gold handwriting. He vaguely remembered seeing handwriting like this, but he couldn't quite put his finger on who it belonged to. The front was blank except for a small fire emblem, like the one on his gloves, and his name: Colonel Roy Mustang. He opened the card and gazed at the words, lost at the meaning. It read:

_Colonel-_

_I get chills seeing you,_

_Contradicting the flames you do,_

_My heart stops when you notice me,_

_Damnit! Why can't I stop blushing frantically?_

_We fight, I scream, you yell, I hate._

_Not having the nerve to ask you for a date._

_How did I fall in love with you?_

_Metal and flesh and polished screws,_

_You're a womanizing bastard, so..._

_Who this is from, I hope you'll never know._

Turning the card around, a small white flower was attached to the back.

Wait a minute...

This flower. This is the flower Edward created in his first State exam!

This thing's unique. Roy should know, he took one to one of the local flower shops and perplexed the owner, who had no idea or even a faintest clue as to what it was.

Rereading the letter, he noticed little things in the poem; the use of curse words (especially "bastard"), the whole 'fighting' stanza, as well as the 'metal and flesh' stanza. Even the color scheme seemed to show clues as to who this was from.

Roy glanced out of the window once more and caught a swish of red and gold creeping down the sidewalk in front of his house. The person paused, as if wondering whether or not they should go up to the door and knock or not. The boy decided against it, finally, and started to walk away.

Clutching the letter, Roy burst through the front door, startling the boy.

"Edward!"

Coming to his senses, Ed tried to dart away, but Roy was far too close and grabbed his arm.

"Let go of me!" he snarled, jerking his arm away but not making any further movements.

Holding the card up to Ed's face, Roy waited. For an apology, for a confession, anything.

"What the hell is that Mustang?" Ed feigned innocence.

"I think you know Edward."

"The hell if I do!"

"Maybe I should read it aloud then."

Mustang started, " I get chills-"

"SHUT UP!" Ed screeched, clapping a hand over Roy's mouth.

"Now, now, Fullmetal, if you don't know what's in this letter, then why did you stop me from reading it?

Unless... You _were_ the one who gave it to me."

Ed glared daggers at Roy.

"Shuttup," was all he could muster as a retort.

"Care to tell me what your unfinished business is now, Edward?"

"It's over with. Now, if you'll stop harassing me I need to pack up for Rissembol." Edward turned away sullenly, not wanting Roy to see him in such a vulnerable and weak state.

"So you're not even going to try and ask me out, huh Fullmetal?"

It came in such a quiet voice that Ed almost missed it. Almost.

He whipped around, Rissembol forgotten.

"What?"

Roy closed the distance between them in a step, lips mere millimeters away from Ed's.

"You never know what's gonna happen until you try Edward."

Roy breathed, soaking up the intimacy of their stance.

"You talk to much bastard. Just shut up and kiss me already."

Ed growled, claiming Roy's lips with his own.

Okay, so maybe Valentine's wasn't _that_ bad after all.


End file.
